Buffalo Turnip Wings (Vegan)

These sound weird, I know. And I should have posted these before the Super Bowl, I know. But really, I’ve just saved that handful of football-watching vegans the annoyance of explaining to stereotypical meatitarians how these are better than chicken wings.

You’re welcome.

For a couple months now, a Buffalo cauliflower wings recipe has been trending in vegan circles, and this version is FODMAP-friendly.

And I discovered said Buffalo cauliflower chicken wings at a potluck at the end of summer. I was very skeptical that I could eat them, though I was promised that they were gluten free and dairy free. Surely there was glutenous soy or Worcestershire in the store-bought BBQ sauce (the sauce was homemade); surely the cauliflower was deep-fried (it wasn’t); surely the “wings” were covered in vegan mayo or oil or sour cream or something else disgustingly cloying (they weren’t).

The coating is a paste of spices, flour and milk alternative of your choice (soy, in the case of the potluck I attended). There’s a touch of oil and an optional touch of vegan butter in the hot sauce that you add after par-roasting the cauliflower “wings.”

So why would I take a great recipe for cauliflower, which has all its nooks and crannies that are perfect for soaking up sauce and creating crispy edges à la chicken wings, and replace the vegetable with turnip?

Who even likes turnip?

I do. It’s cheap, it’s sweet, it’s sustainable and it’s FODMAP-friendly. And I love cheering for the underdog. In the world of rockstar vegetables, turnip is definitely an underdog. (Screw you, kale, and your need to be coated in non-FODMAP-friendly nutritional yeast.)

Downsides of this recipe? It’s not really like chicken wings, since you’re eating rectangular prisms.

Upside? The sweetness of the vegetable is super addictive with the spicy sauce. It might even make you love turnips. Maybe.

You can also make these with other juicy root vegetables or cruciferous vegetables, like sweet potato, rutabaga or Brussels sprouts. The latter two are FODMAP-friendly, I believe. Sweet potato is, unfortunately, not.

If you’re not vegan?

You can also make these with real chicken wings. They’re still better for you than deep-fried wings. Do you know how many calories, sodium and saturated fat commercial chicken wings have? It’s crazy! 12 chicken wings can have 74 grams of fat! We all need fat, but that’s 20 grams of saturated fat in one sitting, which is a lot.

Vegan Buffalo Turnip Wings

You don’t need to add a lot of salt to the turnip because the hot sauce will probably be high in sodium. You can use Frank’s red hot or sriracha or any thin, salty vinegar-based red pepper sauce. Don’t waste anything fancy on this, because you need a lot. The sauce should be thin and watery. I’ve even used pure tabasco and it works.

• 2 large turnips, chopped into 1 1/2″ cubes or 1″ x 1″ x 2″ rectangular prisms (about 6-8 cups)
• 1/3 cup plain, unsweetened almond milk (or soy or rice or whatever you like)
• 1/3 cup water
• ¾ cup gluten free flour (rice, buckwheat, sorghum, etc.)
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp of paprika (smoked or sweet)
• 1 tsp ground chipotle pepper, optional
• ¼ tsp salt
• ¼ tsp ground pepper
• 1 tbsp Earth Balance or vegan butter, optional
• Up to 4 tbsp hot sauce

1. Line two baking sheets or roasting pans with parchment paper (if you don’t the paste will be very sticky and you’ll spend your life swearing as you hack through the burnt-on paste.
2. Preheat the oven to 425˚F.
3. Combine the milk, water, flour, cumin, paprika, chipotle, salt and pepper in a large bowl and add the turnip. It shouldn’t be too runny or the coating won’t stick. Add extra flour a few teaspoons at a time if needed to make a medium-thick paste.
4. Toss to coat, shaking off excess batter, then spread the vegetables in a single layer on the parchment-lined sheets.
5. Bake for 15 minutes. Flip the turnips and bake 15 minutes more. Check them to make sure they’re almost done by nibbling one of the bigger pieces. It should be tender, not tough.
6. Meanwhile, combine the Earth Balance and hot sauce in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir as the butter melts, then remove from the heat.
7. When the turnip is ready, remove the trays from the oven and pour the hot sauce combo over top, tossing the turnips to combine. You can do this in the pans or in a large mixing bowl. Try not to eat all the turnip now. It’ll be even better in 10 minutes!
8. Return the turnip to the baking sheets and bake another 10-15 minutes, until crispy.
9. Eat with no reservations. No need to stop at 12.