Well, oops.
Apparently my definition of matchsticks is a whole lot fatter than the textbook definition. So my celeriac ended up looking more like cigarettes. But at least they were still a whole lot better for me. Instead of the cabbage called for in this recipe I decided to use kale. They’re nothing alike, I know. Really I was asking for trouble. Oh, and the dried sour cherries? I used frozen, so they weren’t nearly as bittersweet. Mostly just bitter…and wet. Still, there was a sweetness to the celeriac the more I chewed, and it was good in an “I know what I’m eating is healthy” kind of way. Plus I rarely eat raw kale (though it was doused in a whole lot of salt, so pretty denatured, and some raw foodists would say it’s actually cooked that way).
I’m not even going to give the recipe. If you want to make a good recipe with celeriac buy Yotam Ottolenghi’s “Plenty” and follow the one with cabbage and dried sour cherries like a normal person, not a foolish cook like me. Also, invest in a micro-plane chopper (mandoline or food processor attachment) so you can’t be the cause of your own matchstick/cigarette confusion. I own both of these things, which only makes my incompetence more embarrassing. And here I am, sharing it with you. I’m no tragic hero with a fatal flaw of hubris at least. I’m officially on the bottom rung, though, having been knocked down a few pegs.
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