Chocolate Sourdough and Dried Apricot, Fig, Date, Cranberry, and Apple Turkey Stuffing

1 giant turkey (10-12 lbs — ridiculous, I know. I put it in my bike basket, as I do with all heavy things I buy at the market, and nearly made my bike do a somersault twice trying to jaywalk across Atwater, it was so back-weighted.

1 tbsp olive oil

1/2 tsp salt (kosher if it’s for Rosh Hashanah, of course)
1 tbsp fresh rosemary
5 beautiful shallots, diced
1 clove garlic, finely chopped
1 apple, peeled, cored and diced
2 tbsp honey
1/2 cup dried apricots, diced (easiest to do all the dried fruit dicing with scissors)
1/2 cup pitted dates, diced
1/2 cup dried figs, diced (don’t buy medjools. Buy the cheap, pre-pitted ones and save yourself the hassle)
1/2 cup dried cranberries (sweetened with orange juice, not sugar, if possible)
1/4 cup apple juice (Yeah, I didn’t have juice, but I had apples, so I just blended them and made purée. I figured a bit of extra fibre would be just fine, and the stuffing would get a lot of added juice from the turkey)
1 tsp thyme (fresh or very high-quality dried. Mine was amazing. I opened a can of Épices de Cru thyme from Provence…mmm…it actually MADE the dish since the slight bitterness cut through the sweetness of the dried fruit and the tang of the sourdough. Absolutely amazing)
1 loaf sourdough bread (or gluten-free bread)
1/2 bar dark chocolate, broken into small pieces
1 tbsp lemon juice
1/4 cup waterI did everything right until I decided to stop being so well-behaved…

I cooked the onions, garlic and apples to in the oil over medium heat for about 8 minutes.

I added the honey, apricots, dates, figs, cranberries, and apple juice and cooked a few more minutes. Then I added the thyme, lemon juice, chocolate and a tiny bit of my salt and Sichuan peppercorn blend. Then I chopped up an entire loaf of bread.